HAPPY BIRTHDAY NESAN(:
today's my sister's birthday ne..
she's officially 24 this year!
she seemed tired after work today and a little unhappy.
but but but....
her friends cui qin and dan qi came to surprise her!
muahaha. it's all planned since two days before and
i've been drawing since last saturday! and...
am really very exhuasted.
thanks to cui qin and dan qi that make her day so much
lighter and much more happier! (:
hontoni arigatou!!
had fun while planning how to surprise her so on..
well, a day of fun and planning i guess.
once again, tanjyobi omedetou!!
(pictures will be up shortly)


had painting lessons again today...
as usual, i get easily affected by others and most of them
started off well, and ended up giving up on their portrait paintings.
as for me, i would just stop once i don't get the feeling
of my painting, in other words, i lost touch with my painting
and my feeling towards the colours and the brush strokes..
chim eh? haha. every wednesday (and thursday too)
are always so tiring! yawn.


been kinda stressed up by school recently and had lotsa plans
in mind, including self-motivation. ever since i've tried my best to
break off the closeness between him and me, as well as them and me,
i felt bad but i felt that i had more freedom.
now i wanted to break off with them totally,
going home earlier, doing more work at home than in school,
trying my best to avoid them as much as i can.
maybe i disliked the atmosphere between them, him and me
since after that misuderstanding which i felt that all my explainations
are just USELESS. not matter how much i regretted blogging about my
inner feelings BUT i felt that it wasn't my fault at all.
i'm just torturing myself ALONE not letting anyone to enter my
'world' just to avoid cases like these again to happen.
since primary school, i had been through all these similar incidents
and they really made my life upsetting.
i felt so much hurt and pain inside of me and it's just beyond words
i can describe this feeling of mine i had since 5,6 years back...
what i can say is i am fated to have these histories to repeat
themselves again and again, all over again.
i guess i'm better off to be alone bah...
yes, just sometime alone will do me better.
i choose this path myself, and i'll walk on and move on,
ALONE. just me, myself and I.


fighting alone is exhuasting, but i know i'll just have to be brave
and do my best, no matter how the future might be i'll just be
myself and live on, staying positive and staying determined.(: